Here's the results of a survey I offered to the brides I performed wedding ceremonies for in 2009 and 2010. Out of the 150 requests I sent out, only fifteen (10%) chose to answer the questions.
I do not know who answered the survey questions. They are autonomous, as survey results should be. But I am very grateful for the 15 who took the time to share their thoughts and opinions with me.
The results, for me, were revealing and helpful. Hope the same is true for you. And I would be interested to read your comments about the survey and the results. Please leave them for me below.
- 1. What surprises you most about being married?
1. Not married yet!
2. That there is never enough time like there seemed to be while you were dating.
3. Would have to answer this after May 21st.
4. How very different we truly are...and how we can make that work for the betterment of all when we apply ourselves to see what God is doing in our union.
5. It feels so complete. No more just me... but us and it feels really good.
6. I'm not married yet.
7. How completely and unconditionally i am loved and am able to love
8. Not married yet...
9. Being married is a lot of work. We have to make an effort to have date nights and time alone so we stay close.
10. How much I feel like my husband and I are a team instead of just 2 people loving together...
- 2. What would you like to know now after the wedding?
1. Not married yet!
2. How to balance our lives and make the much needed time for each other
3. How to stay like we are now and grow together.
4. That the marriage will never end! (We're committed...so with God...it is going to last until death do us part...maybe longer!)
5. Where he was all my life!
6. How to maintain this feeling, how to foster this relationship in the same way it was developed
7. Not married yet...but basically how to stay happily married.
8. I can't think of anything.
9. Oh, a lot of things but they're the kind of things I'm sure I can only know the longer I'm married.
10. N/A, wedding next year
- 3. What do you struggle with the most in your life?
1. Stressing over the little things
2. The balance I mentioned in #2. We have very different work schedules that keep us apart, plus trying to schedule time to visit with family.
3. Family relationships
4. Feeling like I am in the right place, at the right time doing what God wants me to be doing.
5. Staying healthy, and he is but helpful and my undoing! LOL
6. How to help my mother, father, and sister with their problems (such as money, job, relationship issues) while not letting their problems interfere with my life.
7. Feelings of not deserving this
8. Finances, balancing life
9. My husband’s children........ being a step-mother is the hardest thing I have ever done.
10. Generally making sure I'm a good, solid person and not letting things like jealousy of what others have get to me. I remind myself daily that I am an incredibly lucky person and the life I lead is truly a gift.
- 4. Which of these topics interest you most? Mark as many as you like.
Growing more of a spiritual life: 40.0% 6 answered
Divorce-proofing your marriage: 73.3% 11 answered
Membership in a marriage coaching group: 20.0% 3answered
Getting out of debt: 33.3% 5 answered
Raising children: 53.3% 8 answered
How to handle money in marriage: 53.3% 8 answered
Retirement building: 40.0% 6 answered
Tips about saving money in the household: 66.7% 10 answered
Starting an internet business: 6.7% 1 answered
Tips on increasing profits in your business: 13.3% 2 answered
Getting help booking your beach house for vacation: 20.0% 3 answered
- 5. Of the topics you chose, why do they interest you?
1. When my family is happy and running smoothly, so am I.
2. They all seem to be helpful in relieving stress and focusing on the positives.
3. Would love to hear tips on ways to make marriage work and "divorce proof" it. Interested in looking to the future...save money and work towards retirement.
4. Because being closer to God is the best way to spend time, energy, interest; because we are expecting our first child; everyone likes to save a few bucks on everyday things.
5. We're starting the stage toward building toward retirement, and of course, it all centers around $$.
6. I find that life is easier when you put your faith in the Lord so growing more of a spiritual life is of interest to me. My parents are divorced and it has always been a big fear of mine that if I got married it would also lead to divorce so I would like tips on ways to divorce-proof my marriage. Saving money is always good and leads to less stress in life.
7. All things i think will help add to the mutual feeling of respect and help our marriage grow.
8. We are both school teachers so we don't make a lot of money and we're always struggling to pay bills and save money at the same time. Of course, we want to "divorce-proof" our marriage.
9.We are about to buy a small business and are definitely planning on children in the near future...and we own a beach house.
10. I manage the money in our household and so learning from experienced people on that is an interest. Also, we'd like to start a family, so that's nice. Also, my fiance was previously married and we are committed to staying together forever, so we'd like to know more about how to make that happen.
- 6. Which of these would you find easy to tell friends about?
How to manage marriage money: 33.3% 4 answered
Monthly online marriage coaching: 41.7% 5 answered
Getting out of personal debt: 41.7% 5 answered
Spirituality 101 - Week teleseminar over six weeks about Spirituality: 16.7% 2 answered
Including family and friends as your grow spiritually: 41.7% 5 answered
Discounts on beach home vacation stays around Wilmington, NC: 58.3% 7 answered
- 7. Please rate the following items to paint a picture of what you would consider to be important in your ideal life:
Not Interested Interested Desirable Very Desirable Response Count
Having good physical health
0.0% (0) 13.3% (2) 13.3% (2) 73.3% (11) 15
Having a closer personal relationship with God
6.7% (1) 40.0% (6) 20.0% (3) 33.3% (5) 15
Having a clear purpose for living
0.0% (0) 7.1% (1) 28.6% (4) 64.3% (9) 14
Living with a high degree of integrity
0.0% (0) 0.0% (0) 26.7% (4) 73.3% (11) 15
Being deeply committed to the Christian faith
13.3% (2) 33.3% (5) 26.7% (4) 26.7% (4) 15
Making a difference in the world
0.0% (0) 40.0% (6) 26.7% (4) 33.3% (5) 15
Having a comfortable lifestyle
6.7% (1) 0.0% (0) 66.7% (10) 26.7% (4) 15
Being active in church
26.7% (4) 53.3% (8) 6.7% (1) 13.3% (2) 15
Owning the latest household technology and equipment
40.0% (6) 26.7% (4) 33.3% (5) 0.0% (0) 15
Work in a high paying job
26.7% (4) 40.0% (6) 33.3% (5) 0.0% (0) 15
Running my own business
60.0% (9) 26.7% (4) 6.7% (1) 6.7% (1) 15
Building a family legacy
26.7% (4) 46.7% (7) 20.0% (3) 6.7% (1) 15
Having a satisfying sex life with my marriage partner
0.0% (0) 0.0% (0) 46.7% (7) 53.3% (8) 15
Having children
35.7% (5) 0.0% (0) 21.4% (3) 42.9% (6) 14
Owning a large home
46.7% (7) 26.7% (4) 20.0% (3) 6.7% (1) 15
Having close, personal friends
0.0% (0) 6.7% (1) 26.7% (4) 66.7% (10) 15
Living close to my family and friends
0.0% (0) 20.0% (3) 60.0% (9) 20.0% (3) 15
8. Many of you come every year to the beach, would you write a story telling me things like, where is your favorite place to stay and why; how many come with you; how long do you stay; what got you started making the trip; why is your beach so special; what time of year do you like to come; approximately how much do you spend for your beach house/hotel; where do you like to eat out; what other activities do you do; what new things you would like to try and so on.
(answered question – 12; skipped question - 3)
1.
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We just started coming because we're having our wedding there - we like to stay on Wrightsville.
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2.
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Chris and I found The Shell Island of Wilmington while looking for a vacation spot close to the Outer Banks since we love lighthouses. We got engaged there and one year later married there (by you, of course!!). We enjoy it in the Fall around late September and usually stay around 5 days. It is very peaceful for us this time of year as we enjoy quiet time together searching for seashells, etc. We found the "Fish House Grill" last time and loved it! They had an all-u-can-eat with seafood menu that was delicious! We also enjoy biking around the inlet, but would enjoy new activities, like kayaking.
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3.
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At a later date I would
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4.
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We came to the beach primarily (and soley at the time) to get married. We have thought about return visits, but it doesn't seem "pressing" at the moment. {Not sure if this answer is helpful to you...}
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5.
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I'm not much of a beach person, and I stay with family.
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6.
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We are getting married in Ocean Isle Beach, NC. We came to visit in March and stayed at the Islander Inn for one night, it cost about 100/night. We wanted to eat at the Giggling Mackerel but it was closed so we ate at Sharky. We like Ocean Isle because it is a lot smaller and quieter than any of the beaches we have been to before.
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7.
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We live at the beach but when we "vacation" at area beaches i look forward to spending time with extended family and creating memories much like those I have from my childhood. Starting a tradition of a yearly summer vacation in late June/early July is important to me.
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8.
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My husband grew up going to Wrightsville Beach in the summers. When we met he introduced me to the area. We now call Kure Beach our home away from home. We try to spend one week during the summer and we often make weekend and spur of the moment trips when possible. We love the small town and the people in it. We have stayed at several places on the island. Atlantic Towers, Palm Air Cottages, and the Moran Motel are our favorites. Atlantic Towers is great, especially for an extened period of time. Palm Air is a favorite because of the lovely inn-keepers and the location. If you want the cleanest rooms on the island this is your place! The Moran Motel really takes you back in time. The location is great and the price is even better. It is great for a weekend trip and we use it a lot when we are supposed to be ending our vacation but want to stay just one more night! For our honey moon we rented a little cottage on the beach called the Red Snapper, it was wonderful as well. The beach is the place that we can get away and be ourselves. My husband has had custody of his 3 kids from the time we met, so our time alone is very special and very rare. I think this is what makes the beach so special, because when we get that time alone Kure Beach is where we head to. As for dining we have a few favorites. For breakfast the Old Pier House is our favorite. We love to get up before sunrise and head to the pier for a day of fishing. Around 7am or so we'll take a break and have breakfast. We also love the BBQ at Bowman's Seafood.... be sure to ask for the Billy Bob's Sauce! Our most favorite is Freddie's. We had dinner here on our wedding night. The food is ALWAYS wonderful. You can count on a wait in the summer, but they will call your cell phone when your table is ready which allows you to take a walk on the pier or play video games in the arcade next door. It may look a little expensive but the portions are HUGE and we usually share a meal. They even split it up for you in two separate dishes. For activities, we love to fish! Sometimes we'll spend our day on the pier fishing and other times we spend the day on the beach fishing. Either way, we love it.
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9.
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We live here, so this doesn't really apply to us. We stay at our house and eat Britt's donuts! :)
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10.
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Shawn and I visit Carolina Beach several times during the summer. We began dating in 2008 and CB was the one of our first trips that summer. We loved it so much because unlike Myrtle Beach, Carolina Beach is a place to relax and enjoy the ocean. It's not too crowded and it has always felt like our home away from home. We fell in love at Carolina Beach that summer. The following April Shawn asked me to marry him. I agreed and we decided to the only place we wanted to have the ceremony was at our favorite little piece of earth. On June 13, 2009 we were married on the beach at the hotel where we were staying, Dolphin Lane. It's a cute little place that we've visited frequently. The office staff is wonderful and they can always give you the surf report and any other info about Pleasure Island. The day was warm, sunny, and beautiful. If only we hadn't lost Shawn's ring in the sand for about ten minutes, things would have been perfect. Thanks to my cousin, the ring was found and we carried on. We said our vows while listening to the tide at Carolina Beach. I couldn't have asked for a better place or better Reverend to keep me calm. Shawn and I have been back to CB several times since then and will be there this June for our one year anniversary. We're very excited to get to run away from reality for a while and also get to dine in at some of the local restaurants. If you ever get the urge to visit my little paradise, you have to check out Michael's Seafood. They have the best chowder. Not to mention the night before we got married, Michael personally came out with two glasses of wine and wished us the best. Talk about making me feel like a blushing bride! Also, Jack Mackeral's is a wonderful island restaurant that has the best Mahi Mahi. Lastly, for breakfast Harbors Masters is awesome. When we're not on the beach or stuffing ourselves, some other places we visit frequently are the surf shops, The Brew Thru, the skate park, the piers and the boardwalk. Fort Fisher is also a great place to visit and has a very nice aquarium. We've even went on the cruise boat at night which was a lot of fun. This summer we're wanting to check out Freeman Park. There, you can actually drive your vehicle out onto the ocean and camp. That's how I want to camp for sure! There's lots to do on Pleasure Island, but I think it's nice to explore and find what makes each individual happy to call Carolina Beach their home away from home.
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- 9. Thank You Very Much for taking the time to help me think through a lot of ideas. One last question - are there any other ideas or topics I could cover?
1. Although we have found Wilmington to be a very special place for us, we would love to visit new places around the region, but need help in which direction to take.
2. None that I can think of right now.
3. Can't think of any off the top of my head at the moment...but if something pops in there...I can e-mail!
4. I think you're off to a great start!
5. Can't think of any.
6. Communication in relationships; balancing job, relationship, hobbies, kids, etc.
7. I can't think of any.
8. Love the idea of an online counseling. I think if you can keep your marriage strong, you wouldn't need crisis counseling. As long as you did that, I'd be happy.
9. I don't think so, but I'm glad you included me in this survey! Thanks, Rev Dale.
10. Life is so good! I love being married to my best friend. Friendship is so important in a marriage. Mutual respect is so important in our marriage.
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